I needed a new way to see my soul. To see your soul. A new way to feel human. A new way to feel united. This is an imaginative rationality for our existence. So here we go:
I’ll open with one of my favorite short tales of wisdom:
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.
“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.” He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”
The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”.
I’ve rationalized much of my problems in life as a result of letting my evil wolf take the reigns of my soul. In that, I was comfortable with an understanding of my mind which split itself into multiple entities in order to put blame on one. In order to relieve my current consciousness from the matter. Blame is relieving. But how many times have I handed the reigns to my life over to the darker wolf? How is it that both sides always survive? How come at my best, I can feel the capacity for the worst? And during even my darkest times, there still existed a light to draw me away from falling inward into infinite solitude. What are we?
We are Stars
Just as the Sun continues an ongoing state of thermonuclear fusion, merging hydrogen atoms, we too are in an ongoing state of fusion. But fusion of a different variety. Instead of using the elements known to exist, we use the elements of our humanity. The characteristics of the two wolves in the Cherokee tale hint at the strongest elements at our fingertips. From love to greed, hope to self-pity, the way in which we traverse life directly depends on the fundamental human elements we choose to embrace.
This is my life. One that can only ever exist in this moment of time. In this very fraction of time. My soul is the continuation of a chain reaction of taking in human energy and releasing it back to the world. And so is yours. We exist as a new generation of stars. Stars which intake and release the elements of our humanity. Stars with the power to feel. To grow. To love and to hate. To regret and to mourn. To cherish and to enjoy. Stars with the impossible ability to choose the fuel which let it survive. To continue to live.
A generation of stars that can choose the fuel which continues existence.
We receive energy from everything around us. The shows we watch. The family we love. The enemies who hurt us. The parts of the world which scare us. Everything that exists transfers energy to us. This is the energy of life. And it is in this moment we decide which energy to convert to fuel. Should we wish to do so, we knowingly create our fuel from the energy found both externally and internally. We share it with every single person we interact with.
In the most positive, optimistic example of this perspective, think of someone who inspires you. A passionate musician, or a gifted writer. A story of love past, a dream for the future. Somehow, in someway, another form of life instilled energy in you. You feel motivated. You feel as if its possible to take on this crazy world. Their light has reached you. Their positive energy has reached you. And you can use it. You can feel this energy in indescribable ways.
This is just one of the lights we have the capacity to share. And so long as we exist, we have the privilege to continue to share the energy of life. In the same way that our Sun gives energy to Earth, we give energy to each other. We all need it. Its why I feel revitalized by interaction. Its why the worst points in my life were when I felt most alone. Theres something magical in our interaction that allows us to give energy to each other.
But where does this energy come from? If my soul exists as a toll-booth of energy in my local vicinity, then what am I? What in me is unique?
I am unique in the way I fuel my soul. The way my soul chooses to live as a gateway of this shared energy. We are surrounded by it and it is ours to share. So long as we choose to live we have a right to this energy. This beautiful energy of humanity. Whether it be love or fear, empathy or indifference, we are driven by this energy.
But yet, I don’t always feel like sharing my light. I’d be a fool to ignore the times in my life in which solitude was preferable. I’m not always in a state where I’m prepared to open up. There is another element at stake. The walls of our hearts play a vital role which have yet to be explored thus far in this discourse.
Stay tuned for the next post, Housed in Castles