What if I tore these walls down
Smiles of plenty masking hidden frowns
Sadness growing and loneliness creeping up on me
As it just seems hard to keep up
With each act, each charade
Walking as if my life’s a parade
While breaking on the inside
What if I could confide in you
My deepest insecurities
The strongest uncertainties

As I can now see there exists a part of me
That doesn’t wish to succeed
That doesn’t appreciate being freed
That welcomes self torment as the seeds
To stirring a growing darkness
The lonely bliss
Of being torn between wishing to care
And instead choosing none of this

It’s time to accept this part of my soul
But still it’s only one aspect of a total whole
For my internal conversation consists of more than one role
More than one voice at play
Able to make the choice today
Deciding love through a writer’s way
Crafting the words that I need to say

Gearing my consciousness in the right direction
Leading my path down the road of affection
Continuous lessons, spontaneous blessings
Able to be proudly confessing
A weakened state of mind with the pressing desire
To light an inner fire
As I aspire to lift myself higher