thoughts

Defrost

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Mind changing like seasons
Fading away from heat while still freezing
In a heartbreak blizzard
Where every snowflake is a mistake
From a time too afraid to act, too stuck to look ahead when frozen in the past
In a present moment moving ever too fast
And here I am desperately trying to master mindfulness in gratitude
Becoming aware of the existential multitude of
Blood pumping, oxygen flowing, lungs expanding and releasing in tow
As I write from this plane departing from the ground below

Now gaining speed, wind pressure lifting up wings of steel
As I soar towards dreams until I can finally feel
That I’m moving forward through rough turbulence
On the fence of happenstance, lucky to still have breath to dance
And not forsake my opportunity to live and see ideas enhanced in community
Finding growth both in our difference and in our unity
Able to create and share new moments, even if temporarily

–
Photo by guille pozzi on Unsplash

Overcoming Platitudes

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New inspirations cycling demonstrations of growth to reach
Got more to do than blindly preach potential
While still avoiding mental gaps between dreams in mind
And then only letting them breathe mentally
Restricted existence, not living free
Self limitations, persistent hesitations marking happiness a mystery
Continuous missed bliss whilst falling to depravity
Got lost then forgot the gravity of growth
How sometimes the gains come slow
But that never means it’s okay to lose hope

So I transform failure into memories
Constant reminders of what I lost
Of what could be different
The good and bad both fitting scenes
To now distill into self growth schemes
Where success means successive steps
Taking chances just like one takes breaths
Refusing to stay stuck, letting greatness manifest
Making the phrase, “Try your best”, transcend these platitudes
That I used to say and then just forget
So now let my words represent how I’ll choose to act next

—
Photo by Nick Fisher on Unsplash

Nice to Hear From You Again

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Your freshest album plays a reinvention of music
Recreation of momentary self expression
Absorbed in flow, this continuous show
To grow every dream like blades of grass tipped in frosted snow
Seasonal depression, no longer in tow
I remember now these feelings I used to know

Welcome
Welcome once more melody over tragedy
Footsteps on the path to be, taking me from land to sea
Naivety of crafting dreams
As I’m no longer passing these opportunities to live and breathe
Deep breath in, then relieve, shift in focus how to perceive
Life, death, and the time between

—
Photographer: James Pond

Growing Pains

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Past self, fake wealth
Transform in stealth of night to join the hero’s fight
No fright in the new day
Blocked out dismay
Disarray, dreams frayed
Love fade, an empty face, this empty space
Disgraceful reflections

Shame
Shame
Shame

No, stop that self blaming
No, I’m not claiming you’re good yet
But breathe that next breath
Take that next step
Cause you ain’t done yet

So why did you put dreams on pause
Why are you scared of love
Why
Why
Why do you hesitate
Do you spoil fate
Why do you throw it all away

What happened to the music
The flow you pledged to never lose
In between momentous orange slices of time
Where did you put your shine
You know you can’t rewind
So stop pretending to live blind
Behind past glory, the fast story
Bloom at night, then decay in the morning
Now heed the storm’s warning

With a heart worn on your sleeve
Prepare to feel torn
To mourn conclusions
Thread’s colorful illusions
All the while choosing
A life of love fueled by the music
Ocean’s waves fused with your musing

—
Photographer: Tim Marshall

Getting Up Again

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Sometimes the words read blurry
Flurried out the door, hurried
Searching for opportunity to live and breathe with unity, fluidity
Yet slipped onto divisive trajectories
Repeats of history, despair led by misery
Rejection, love a mystery
Hate brewing down the sea
Tsunami to drown my dreams

It seems to be that the only answer for stormy fates
Is gratitude
No hesitation, just a deep breath

Inhale

Exhale

Let go of torn sails, the worn wells
Swells and bellows for the next chance
To play hero, pretend to be more
Anxiety dropped to floor, dancing soar to lore
Tales of legends galore implore you to act
Right now, make this pact:

Now and forever,
I live each moment with all my love stacked

—
Photographer: SpaceX

Getting Dressed

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Mind in motion
Health potion found in cardio
Stars forgotten
Light pollution blocking galaxies
Worlds of brittle fallacies
Short term masteries

Scenes meant for experience
No Instagram pic can mirror this
Copy it

Breathe and feel the waves crash
The pain passed
Sunrise path brings back love stacked
Chain reaction found in action
Let it grow
Let it flow
Wear the love just like one of your clothes

—
Photographer: Isabell Winter

Step Over Discomfort

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On the edge of comfort zone’s fringes
No more shows, now challenge binges
Constructing new bridges
Towards next day’s wishes

Slipped up, feelings trippin’
Crashing at ground speed
Light speed
Watch me conquering
New dreams
New breeze
Falling into blooming fields
Flower yields of burnt orange roses
Supposedly the time goes forward
Never back
Stormward
Homeward
One step after the next
Until each heartbeat reflects where love meets
At the intersection of time and space
Displacing void with fleeting moments and expressions
Creativity, not failure, just lessons
Compressing millenniums
To a couple flicks of a tongue
In such a simple message

—
Photographer: Me

Defeat’s Refusal

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It’s a new mask to move past
Last night’s dream’s cask
Internal flags at half mast
Marking dreams passed, too fast
Crashed into catastrophe
These wishes of a younger me faded by so easily
Yet it seems the key to breathe
Is found in the mystery
Not escape in misery
Of losing dreams
Of losing steam
Slowing down velocity
With hateful emotions bossing me
Crossing me, confusing what I try to see
Replacing love with animosity
To foster mean frames of mind
That blind these chances to find
A sweet ol’ bliss of mine

—
Photographer: Joshua Earle

Gravebook

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How often do dead bodies fill up my newsfeed
As I feed on news substituting my views
With antiquated rules where we forget to let love grow
Forget that this garden is ours to sow
Yet instead trample on opportunity
We kill our own community
Behind constructed immunity through conjured excuses
Now with bullets instead of nooses

As we’re too afraid to embrace one another
Based on a color
As if pigmentation is reason to smother this chance of a new day
A chance to say it’ll be okay

Yeah, we fucked up and made so many mistakes
But today we can choose to overcome our hates
In attempt to become more than what we were
To finally stir up a sense of love over darkness
Sharing bliss
Not in loneliness, but finally together as we weather the storms
Whether for better or worst we all deserve this chance to live

—
Photographer: Greg Ortega

Direction

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This is called the upswing
A rare chance to bring a sense of calm to a chaotic mind
A chance to bring action to the forefront of delayed decisions
Procrastinated visions
Dreams once cherished, now left in stitches
Thoughts perished and wishes diminished in Death’s rope
Now nearly too late for hope as time keeps trotting ahead

Now presented a choice to either bring light to what’s in my head
Or choose to lose dreams in the nighttime
Tell people it’s all fine
But once I face myself in some sunlight
The pain comes back with twice the fight

But alas, it’s all alright since I’m here now
Gratitude aware as power grows on the daily
With perhaps a chance to save me
Before falling back into darkness with the strongest fear
That bliss was missed
That I saw Love, then kissed it goodbye

—
Photographer: Jens Lelie