thoughts

Write Your Music, Right Your Life

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Reset
To the moment
Time to own it
Could be slowing or barely growing
Perhaps a mix of both
Why not left in the sorrow
Somehow with a heart still ticking for a greater tomorrow
Built today, it’ll be okay
Let’s say and agree I fucked up
Yet it’s not all written in stone
This is not the way my story has to go
I don’t have to repeat this path

The question never who do you want to be
But how do you see and breathe
Melting through dynamic destinies
Understanding the journey is a fleeting thing
Here today, and tomorrow a song to sing
So revisit that question as begging you to bring a new melody to the table

Steady a rocky mind stable
With your own words, your own voice
Your own choice to fall back into the moment
Take hold of your mistakes and begin to own it

—

Photographer: Green Chameleon

63 Days Since My Last Poem

clouds

I stopped walking
I stopped singing
I stopped bringing myself home
Always escaping
Always fleeing
Trying to make myself whole
Now left with consequences of body and soul
Oh how did I ever let myself go

Stopped thinking
Heart sinking into pity
Been too long since I last wrote of a fleeting feeling

Amazed at how easy it was to forget self affliction
Drug induced fictions of the mind satiate the soul temporarily
Yet leave me partially blind
Until I fall back into darkness for the umpteenth time

Before the Fall

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Denial
To the point it becomes impossible to ignore this downward spiral
as if I was given a trial and chose to throw it
poor decisions clearly show it
of course I know it
I see this light marking the path of right
yet in the mirror I cower at the sight
of looking into the resultant shape from these regretful nights
as if I could forget those who already lost their life

Ben had a smile for the ages
he’d be my age today
but instead he’s passed away
three years, now in a grave

I owe it to him to live brave
I owe it to him to live
with my heart on my sleeve

Self hate and disdain too easy to grow
yet instead let me update my flow
shift my perspective away from the hate that I’ve come to know
and return to love

—

Photographer: María Victoria Heredia Reyes

A Polar Life

Passion gets dulled in attempts to maintain conformity
fear of unknown constrict the range of possibility

Inability to embrace a dynamic perspective
fails the ultimate lesson that growth does not end
until death’s frigid fingers grasp the final breath
how often do we bet on having tomorrow’s time
too often blind of the blurry line
between an external environment and an internal mind
deluding ourselves with the idea of separation
when instead, it’s vibration

Once forgotten, yet now in flow
now aware of the inseparability of yes and of no
sense made from difference,
we live as both actor and the show

—
Photographer: Joshua Earle

I was inspired to write this after watching the amazing movie, Dead Poet’s Society.

The Grand Distraction

cool

Not now
not dead yet
none left to fret with work left to finish
cause I’m not yet diminished to the ashes
of burnt out passions
of past lives lost in forgetting
what is this-ness

Know this to be more than what consciousness can comprehend
no more pretending in how we view Society
in how we view the You and Me
the gap between our eyes that see
galaxies
hidden fallacies
carefully balancing
attempts to understand reality

With continous days unknowingly numbered
we play at living infinite

–
Photographer: Jordan McQueen

Intergalactic Synapses


A universe of existence
From atomic scenes to galaxies
Mysteries of interstellar seas
Of motion and action
Emotion, reactions
Cognizant perceptions
Convert energy into a life
Of big numbers and little fractions
Cosmic interactions
Every passing moment a chance to connect
Able to use the time we have left
To live a life worth living
With a heart, like a star, beating in our chests
—

Photographer: 

Summer Goals

Sweat and code
Health, you know
Taking this time to focus on where I’m going
One step at a time while continuously knowing that as long as I move forward
Moving toward the person that I dream to be
It doesn’t matter if it’s difficult or if it comes easily
This is the story of the self-written prophecy
Inscribed with a pen shared by all who inspire me

No longer waiting for dreams to come to me
It’s a craft, you see, to create and let your own art breathe free
Freely expressing whats pressing on your mind and your heart
When one plus one makes two, but you still don’t know what to do or where to start
Living on a shared planet but often feeling galaxies apart

—
Photographer: 

Rewind

If this arrives on time, then it’s 365 days in the past
I’m you from the future and I want to express how last year went:

Tomorrow you found yourself on the wrong side of the line between escape and entertainment
Enjoyment and an attempt to fill a void with thoughtless distraction
A fraction of life’s potential wasting away in inconsequential moments of apathy

Until presented with a choice
You could choose to allow self abusive habits to roam free
Or you could choose to grow
Choose to rise past the sorrow and move toward a new day
A day worth living, worth singing, worth every of ounce of life that
we’re all clinging to

And you chose to grow

In a month you found yourself alone
Nights of cold, empty blankets while dreaming of someone to hold
When the thermostat says 70 degrees but your heart’s feeling 40 under
Feeling darker and darker until fading into nothingness
Destroying all you’ve worked for until you cared for none of this

And then you saw a reflection that you often miss
The part of you against the love
Who wants to live alone in a world of his own problems
Who sees self-sabotage as simply a way of life
The inescapable cycle that always ends with this metaphorical knife

Yet still, you shook off your doubts and fears and you chose to grow

Six months in came the confidence that you always had, just never felt was there
Consistency and discipline laying the foundation to self mastery
Taking it one step at a time while working towards bad-assery
Seizing this moment to be the hero of your own story
Fast forwarding to the good part, where we live with
Every heartbeat remaining, no complaining
While continuously sustaining this temporary
Expression of love

And you chose to grow

In 12 months, you came across a quote
It read: “A year from now you will wish you had started today”

You’ve got some work to do, my friend
Good Luck!

—
Photographer: Jordan McQueen
Quote: Karen Lamb

Captain

A boat in a bottle
Never let out at sea
Too busy worrying what she’d think
Instead of letting my own heart live free

You see, love is not an arrow shot at a target
Love is open seas — three-hundred-and-sixty degrees of rough choppy water
With the gentlest breeze

Choking on the salt of dried up tears
Of which time stole all the moisture
So much time spent unsure
Just a wish in a bottle, a boat that never touched water
Whose sails never felt the rush of a gust of wind at
Simply the sight of you

It’s not a carefully crafted message to never be seen
It’s spontaneous — dynamic!

Love is a shared boat

I tried to build the perfect boat to lead me to you
I followed every direction perfectly, didn’t break a single rule
Yet still I find myself crying these tears of solitude
Once more drinking on an empty deck

You say there’s more fish in the ocean
But I’m too scared to let my boat sink
Took me so long to realize I never made room for someone else
I looked for a savior without being one to myself

You see, let me not forget I am the captain of my own ship!
Shaken in the seas of good days and bad
Sailing through these waters, a soul sits at the helm
Seeing out into the world and deciding upon which direction to go
Which direction should I go?
Here or there, who really knows
All that matters is to feel how the ocean flows
Waves of emotions as we die and as we grow

—

Photographer: Barn Images

Side-note: If this piece reads a bit differently than previous poems, I’ll tell you why! I’ve recently been going to the Poetry Club at my school. The long-form rhyming that’s in most of my written work reads out-loud much differently than in my head. I received some awesome critique and feedback and wanted to apply it. This piece is part of my growth into being able to perform my work. It sounds much better spoken 🙂

Constructed Futures

Choices make up this continuum of time
To find a calmer state of mind
For time moves forward, never going back
And we already know this moment won’t last

It’s the sound of air that reminds me of what’s there
On what we all share
This responsibility for nature that we all bear

Let this sound remind you of gratitude
How in the end, there’s little left to lose
Just pass along the torch
Before it’s your turn to leave it scorched
But through an open heart begin to do your part
So that somewhere down the road a better life can truly start