Nightly Musing


It seems to be mystery
this answer lost in history, whispering
about how life can survive
when it seems to break so easily
while growing so consistently
like branching leaves on trees
that dance in breeze, stretched out for sunlight beams
then die and freeze in frostbite scenes
right before Springtime to be signed up for brand new lease
on universal self recognition
found in stardust of far fusions spiraled into playful illusions
of humans with flaws and fates of their choosing

Photo by Jeremy Thomas on Unsplash

Day One, Again


Day one on this road to rebirth
phoenix style, revived while this heart pumps infinite platelets
red discs with all the oxygen needed for me to exist
and resist once more against falling to depravity
ya know, it’s tiring to endlessly struggle against this anxiety
of knowing I’ll die then choose to stay living in pursuit of growth and changing
yet I see the news, and it’s breaking, always breaking
breaking my heart as I no longer know how to react or where to start
while all I do is continue to watch other lives fall apart
and I play the part of a hypocrite with pleasant words on the tongue
yet no action to mirror it, just nihilism in development
hellbent on letting past failures dictate current mindsets and perspectives

To me, I say:

You need to drop it
drop the sunk cost fallacy stopping you from change
don’t let that be, don’t let it be, it’s just a bias in your brain
let it go, you can drop this disdain for your past self, it’s just an image in your brain
just a passing phase before finally thinking sane
so what, you know, we’ve all made mistakes
it’s still alright, despite the outtakes so long as you never forget all at stake
never forget the love in your life and your chance to make something new
contribute to a perspective, conjure up a view
a different kind of pointed lens to shape the world’s affect on you

And let you grow like roses back in bloom
when not so long ago, we watched their doom,
wilted dead, no way to consume, no room for solar energy
you see, I cycle like this
I grow and then I bleed
fail to grasp, fail to heed to past lessons of the younger me
as if it were so easy to live and forget
refusing memories just to beget more mental hemorrhaging

Now I think back of Grandpa and miss telling him all this life I saw
how I can’t grapple with the religion I was raised with
because it just doesn’t make sense to me
even though my father continues to sometimes sing and preach

And then I remembered the connection between us was never about God
but this vibration, this musical sensation of sounds rising into chorus to higher elevations, serotonin sensations
as the unity of you and me all comes together in the sound waves, symphonic space
displacing this silent haze of our hours turning into days
with all these ancient ways encouraging a connective phase
what if there were a simpler way
more direct with less prophetic indiscretions, less corrupt intentions
cause most of organized religion I see seems to lack balance consistently
now I don’t mean to tread on what you believe, this is simply my perspective
how I feel and perceive what’s in front of me
I see galaxies so vast and free
impossibly deterministic, unpredictably mystically
unfathomably filled with dynamic trees all branching into these separate ideas and pieces of existence
and if I don’t stop to breathe, I’m sure to miss this chance to get up again
live and love again to build these dreams again

Photographer: Steve Halama

Getting Dressed

photo-1465218550585-6d069382d2a9 (1).jpeg

Mind in motion
Health potion found in cardio
Stars forgotten
Light pollution blocking galaxies
Worlds of brittle fallacies
Short term masteries

Scenes meant for experience
No Instagram pic can mirror this
Copy it

Breathe and feel the waves crash
The pain passed
Sunrise path brings back love stacked
Chain reaction found in action
Let it grow
Let it flow
Wear the love just like one of your clothes

Photographer: Isabell Winter

The Grand Distraction


Not now
not dead yet
none left to fret with work left to finish
cause I’m not yet diminished to the ashes
of burnt out passions
of past lives lost in forgetting
what is this-ness

Know this to be more than what consciousness can comprehend
no more pretending in how we view Society
in how we view the You and Me
the gap between our eyes that see
hidden fallacies
carefully balancing
attempts to understand reality

With continous days unknowingly numbered
we play at living infinite

Photographer: Jordan McQueen

Synaptic Sequences

A concept stored in
electrical pathways from neuron to neuron
billions of cells continuously engaged
into the motions that lead these words
onto this page

Always processing patterns out of nothingness
identifying objects and trying to put a name on all of this
as if language could ever describe

How could I forget that nothing exists in persistence
when all this time, the truth has been change
from youth to old age
my self-constructed cage has merely been illusion
from a mind afraid to live a life of its choosing

Photographer: Parthiv Haldipur

Thanks for Coming to Class

A moment to remember
it’s ok to let go
ok to let show that you don’t know
how your life is directed or in which way it flows
It’s ok to say that you’re feeling overwhelmed

But take a breath and look from a different perspective
Don’t forget today’s lesson
is simply to breathe
become aware of the oxygen
then let it all leave

Photographer: Israel Sundseth

Welcome to Blue Skies

At last this feeling is finally back
Here we go, let’s have a blast
One step at a time from the first to the last
Let’s create memories worth calling the past

Allow these hardened walls to crumble away
Insecurities from a different time, the fears of yesterday
Let go of the pain you’ve come to know
Come in closer and let me show you
This is how the Universe has thrown you
A unique perspective aware of it all
Aware of the rise and of the fall
Here for a moment to haul in all these memories
Slipping seconds of new and old dreams
Fleeting senses in the midst of your journeys

Welcome to life, here is your mask
No defined purpose, no specific task
Welcome to the moment, one not to grasp
But to truly let go, feel absorbed at last
For this is what truly matters
Keep working and growing
Disregarding other factors
Choose a life that your heart can follow
Live it well and avoid that hollow sense of void inside
Where all you wish is to run and hide
You’re not alone, you have friends by your side
So stand up tall, become a hero to recognize
Resonate with emotions that continue to amplify
The sense of connection with all under our grand blue sky

Responsibility of Life


Use more than imagination
You have a body
To put life in action
Demonstrate your words
Through creating ever lasting
Moments of inspiration
Bring the change we’ve all been asking for
Wishing for
Prove that you can rise up off this sullen floor
Life’s too short to live it like a bore
Become the hero of your heart and more
People will follow once they see that you’ve sworn
To grow and encourage others
Moving forward, but without the scorn

As if you were born to be a conduit of Love
Remember there is no defined purpose
Only choices that resurface
In the ever continuing moments of time and space
Enter your mind and look to replace
A moment of regret with a moment of choice
A life of fret is an injustice to those without a voice
Taken by death, unable to read these words
Forever gone to the existing world
But not in our hearts

For we sing for those who lived

Those who died
We remember because WE ARE ALIVE
So don’t just cry
Match those tears with laughter beside
Let gratitude overwhelm you
For the ground below a stunning sky
Appreciate our lows along with the ecstatic highs
Take this moment to recognize
The responsibility of being alive
Is to appreciate the world
While it’s your turn to wake and rise

For EDM lovers, I wrote part of this song while listening to Galantis – Runaway (U & I)
Photographer: Jake Hills

Seriously, Wake Up

Like a mind cut off from its senses
Horror after horror leave my heart defenseless
Wondering when’s this
Bullshit going to end
One environment we can’t mend
So long as selfish desires
Trump the need to lend a hand
To prevent self-caused fires

Humanity can still be something to admire
So long as we inspire
The world to open its eyes
Climate change is real
Its time to see through the lies
Recognize it’s more than just you
But all the lives to follow
Who deserve a world, not just a hollow
Shell of what could have been
Hell becomes reality
When there’s no more air for breathing in
Now’s the time to take it in
Hopefully we all can come and bring
Something positive to the table
Work together, make it stable
This is life, not a fable

Our actions always have a cost
Whose price has been paid by the Nature we have lost

The Best Way to Act

Enter the park
And feel the
breathing of trees
As if nature
has a heart
Beating and free
This is what I feel
when breeze is revealed
Time slows down
I can see what is real
and of that which repeats
In the past, present, and future
An inner Gratitude happily weeps

Jubilant dogs and families
Passed by runners
And bicycling partners 
Enjoying an ever fleeting summer
All moving past
baseball game
in its last inning
Of the same game
But different players
How is life not a game
When it can be split into frames
Of win and of loss
With rules just so carefully
Placed out of our grasp
Thrown on an initial path
With too little time to do all the math
To look up and see
we’re all just people
Clueless on the same track
Often too scared to share the fact
that we don’t really know
the best way to act.