Refocus

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Lose your mind falling into music
Lose anxiety moving towards fusing heartbeat with melody
Start your feet, step to me, melt into ecstasy, fantasy
A last chance for us to see, to freely breathe
No time to disagree
Only this moment to sing-believe in dreams ’n’ destiny
Before death gets to me, the restful sleep
A return to the start before I ever had a heart
Beat beat, heart heart beat beat, heart heart beat beat
Before I ever ever had a heart beat beat
To the drum beat repeat ’til I’m six feet deep sleep
Mistakes heaped up, mountains

Now facing days wasted
Mirror’s displacement replaced with staring at cold ground
Stuck on basic questions only ever found in insecurity
Back slump, chin down, emotional posture hurting me
You can see definitively the painful end of apathy
From lazy days to suddenly singing new perspectives
Ideas, viewpoints ’n’ lenses
No longer stuck behind a heart’s defenses
Self induced dimensions of distance
As if love were a business and I declared bankruptcy

This last Tuesday I had the amazing opportunity to see Mako perform their debut album, Hourglass. During the show, I thought about what music meant to me and now I wrote something to express it.

Current favorite song is Craziest Day I Ever Had

Photographer: Me at a Land’s End sunset a couple weeks ago.

Goodnight, Holly

sudden death
no phone call, goodbye
cry time, why time
unplanned funeral rhyme
love soaked tears to hide mind
find signs
re-find life between the lines
re-call shine from smiles, kind
memory blurry blind, braincell rewind
locks time to let her spirit repeat
as she lives not in the sky
but flies high in our hearts
just partially departed
marking the torch passed
love’s next chance to exist

Direction

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This is called the upswing
A rare chance to bring a sense of calm to a chaotic mind
A chance to bring action to the forefront of delayed decisions
Procrastinated visions
Dreams once cherished, now left in stitches
Thoughts perished and wishes diminished in Death’s rope
Now nearly too late for hope as time keeps trotting ahead

Now presented a choice to either bring light to what’s in my head
Or choose to lose dreams in the nighttime
Tell people it’s all fine
But once I face myself in some sunlight
The pain comes back with twice the fight

But alas, it’s all alright since I’m here now
Gratitude aware as power grows on the daily
With perhaps a chance to save me
Before falling back into darkness with the strongest fear
That bliss was missed
That I saw Love, then kissed it goodbye


Photographer: Jens Lelie

A New Day

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Self imagination introduces the hero to the story
Makes a life that was so boring and crafts it into this new moment
When blurry reflections come into view
A mirage broken as I strew denial into the distance
As I bear witness to shifts in consciousness
No longer bearing regret alongside mindfulness
Aware of gratitude alongside this single bliss

That we’ll miss if we’re not careful to hold on
And let go all at the same time
That’s why I’m stuck with all the same rhymes
All the same thoughts escaping from my mind
Desperate attempts to make sense of future and past tense
Fate and happenstance
Death’s lonely dance

With only a moment to share

Photographer: Redd Angelo

Sunrise

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Now cleaning up the act
Got tired growing slack
When always looking back at the past
A fast progression of consequential lessons and
This is a confession I haven’t been paying attention

Even though I keep writing myself these rhymes
Still deaf to every note
As if simply smoking could bring change
How deranged must I be to think sitting idle could inspire

Just a single variable in an unknown equation
Of pains and elations
Loves and frustrations
Words with both positive and negative connotations
Depending on who you ask

Are you aware of the task at hand
Or are you still blind to the blurry line of an impossible attempt of living with a sane mind
When there is loss every day
No longer okay just to say
“Eh, it doesn’t bother, no not today
Seeing death on the news is simply scheduled dismay
So I’ll put on a big smile and let love last a while
‘Cause sometimes life is easier to live in denial”


Photographer: Ales Krivec

Time to Give a Fuck

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So which path are you walking
Or are you just talking
Just balking at the effort required to move forward
Can you even move toward the dreams in your mind
Spending each day crafting what you’ll find
It’s time to stop using all the same rhymes
But write something new
Something fresh for you to view
Evolving into future scenes to either win or to lose
It doesn’t matter which, so long as you choose

To give a fuck
To stop blaming luck

Counting all your chickens before they hatch or even cluck
Why the fuck are you not holding onto each passing second
With each progressive perspective
Vision hectic, biased dialectics
Death, despair rampant

Can you even stop this
Hopelessness

Find a way to make new bliss
As I write to remember those who thrived
Write to cherish those who died before high noon’s rise to sunshine
Closed eyes, perished without a goodbye
A moment missed in shared life

RIP Christina Grimmie and The Patrons of Pulse

Photographer: Lukas Budimaier

Dear Life, Please Slow Down

 

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You consume, you create, then you die
On the drop of a dime
That’s why I fill out each line at that end of each rhyme
‘Cause who knows when’s the last time
For a chance to sigh at past signs leading to this moment
Never grasped, yet oh so golden

Battle scars beholden to past decisions
Divisions of the heart and the soul
Of the part and the whole
Prepped with everything ready to go
Yet cold feet got me running before the start of the show

Too scared to move forward when yesterday’s mistakes grow colder
Once ahead, now back two, soon back three
What happened to the me I dream myself to be
Inner galaxies growing into astral scenes
Worry-free mentalities

I need a moment to stop and freeze

Photographer: María Victoria Heredia Reyes