A Polar Life

Passion gets dulled in attempts to maintain conformity
fear of unknown constrict the range of possibility

Inability to embrace a dynamic perspective
fails the ultimate lesson that growth does not end
until death’s frigid fingers grasp the final breath
how often do we bet on having tomorrow’s time
too often blind of the blurry line
between an external environment and an internal mind
deluding ourselves with the idea of separation
when instead, it’s vibration

Once forgotten, yet now in flow
now aware of the inseparability of yes and of no
sense made from difference,
we live as both actor and the show


Photographer: Joshua Earle

I was inspired to write this after watching the amazing movie, Dead Poet’s Society.

Synaptic Sequences

A concept stored in
electrical pathways from neuron to neuron
billions of cells continuously engaged
into the motions that lead these words
onto this page

Always processing patterns out of nothingness
identifying objects and trying to put a name on all of this
as if language could ever describe
existence

How could I forget that nothing exists in persistence
when all this time, the truth has been change
from youth to old age
my self-constructed cage has merely been illusion
from a mind afraid to live a life of its choosing

Photographer: Parthiv Haldipur

I Want To Be a Writer

Luckily, it’s not very hard — I’m doing it right now! Each second passes with a rhythm of fingertips tapping these keys. Fingers wiggling as they transcribe one thought to the next, processing each one into a series of characters. In this moment, I am creating something new. Constructing a universe from the reaction of my mind on blank paper.

Who knows where these words will lead me? For one, I rarely do. I rarely know what the next line will be before completing the sentence I’m already on. Sure, sometimes I come up with lines out of sequence. Yet even then, it becomes an experiment in finding the link between two impactful components. How can I arrange these words such that it evokes emotion in my heart? What would reach me?

And then I answer. I speak from the perspective not of one wishing to be saved, but of the one who is saving. I write the advice that I’ve always been looking for. Because, it makes sense. I remember the most important thing: that all my hesitation to act has been caused from an illusion in how I view my own mind. It is because at times, I envision myself to be someone who wants to be a writer. Instead of simply being a writer. I unwittingly distance my cognitive perception of my own self through replacing I am a with I want to be a.

I dream of what it means to be a successful writer:

  • Publish books
  • Have consistent blog posts
  • Write every day
  • People who want signed books

Then I think of myself:

  • No books
  • Inconsistent writing posts
  • In the last 6 months, I’ve written long-form like this less than 15 times.
  • No books to sign

And at this point, I start producing the thought: I am not a writer. Once on the scene, this thought sparks a mental struggle which needs only but one distraction to be placated. In fact, I was just on Facebook for ~15 minutes since writing the last line. It’s uncomfortable for a mind to feel itself divided. So much so the next option is to just think of something else.

Often that something else is not writing! It’s browsing the internet, watching shows and movies, or playing video games. Then 6 months go by and bam! I’m no longer a writer. Through wanting to become a writer, I further push myself away from it. The solution instead, is to simply write. There is no want, there is no desire other than the impulse to write. To create a string of words able to convey something worth sharing. A melody of symbols. A moment both to reflect and to stumble across something new.

Captain

A boat in a bottle
Never let out at sea
Too busy worrying what she’d think
Instead of letting my own heart live free

You see, love is not an arrow shot at a target
Love is open seas — three-hundred-and-sixty degrees of rough choppy water
With the gentlest breeze

Choking on the salt of dried up tears
Of which time stole all the moisture
So much time spent unsure
Just a wish in a bottle, a boat that never touched water
Whose sails never felt the rush of a gust of wind at
Simply the sight of you

It’s not a carefully crafted message to never be seen
It’s spontaneous — dynamic!

Love is a shared boat

I tried to build the perfect boat to lead me to you
I followed every direction perfectly, didn’t break a single rule
Yet still I find myself crying these tears of solitude
Once more drinking on an empty deck

You say there’s more fish in the ocean
But I’m too scared to let my boat sink
Took me so long to realize I never made room for someone else
I looked for a savior without being one to myself

You see, let me not forget I am the captain of my own ship!
Shaken in the seas of good days and bad
Sailing through these waters, a soul sits at the helm
Seeing out into the world and deciding upon which direction to go
Which direction should I go?
Here or there, who really knows
All that matters is to feel how the ocean flows
Waves of emotions as we die and as we grow

Photographer: Barn Images

Side-note: If this piece reads a bit differently than previous poems, I’ll tell you why! I’ve recently been going to the Poetry Club at my school. The long-form rhyming that’s in most of my written work reads out-loud much differently than in my head. I received some awesome critique and feedback and wanted to apply it. This piece is part of my growth into being able to perform my work. It sounds much better spoken 🙂

Each Passing Second

One time
A line of continuous moments
Separated by a distance that no one has known yet
The space between each passing second seems impossible to grasp
No way to unmask
The illusion my mind conjures before me
Allowing the opportunity to write my own story
One that I love
One that can’t be boring
No, not one-hundred-percent happy
But one-hundred-percent invested
Taking each passing second as a chance to better who I am
Defining new limits, new bars to reach and overcome
For now I know I won’t stay forever young

As the only time we ever have has only been now
Everyone has been saying it, sharing out-loud
That numbered days are irrelevant when presently involved
Giving all to this moment, whether we rise or we fall


Photographer: Andree Brown

Constructed Futures

Choices make up this continuum of time
To find a calmer state of mind
For time moves forward, never going back
And we already know this moment won’t last

It’s the sound of air that reminds me of what’s there
On what we all share
This responsibility for nature that we all bear

Let this sound remind you of gratitude
How in the end, there’s little left to lose
Just pass along the torch
Before it’s your turn to leave it scorched
But through an open heart begin to do your part
So that somewhere down the road a better life can truly start

Time-struck

stars

Why must we keep on pretending
When clearly everything we’ve come to know is soonly ending
I wish I could lock this moment in a box
Take a second to put it all on pause
In desperate attempt to infinitely grasp this sense of continuous perception
Not to mention, the fact that all my beliefs are held in suspension
Finding it hard to feel grounded
When the concept of sanity seems to elude me
Religious beliefs fail to sooth me
It’s when this pen touches paper that the world begins to move me
As I get further lost in taking my thoughts
And transforming them into something new
Creating a new perspective for me to view
While leading my heart towards living true
And expressing this thought from me to you


Photographer: Josh Felise

Time to Create

Oh but don’t you worry for we are bound to make mistakes
Whether we take it slow or we hurry, there’ll be plenty of outtakes
For it takes more than just one moment for a heart to succeed
It’s continuous motion, to love and be free
Means to truly believe in what it means to freely breathe
We are beings of oxygen, of big bits and little bits
Atoms and molecules all fused together with hidden rules
All acting together to bring to life what we call existence
Each passing moment, each passing instance
Here we are, able to think this
Awareness, mindfulness

Sharing fading memories while traveling through these distant trees
Uncovering ideas and unknown philosophies
Able to be grateful for this sweetest breeze
Here is what I see
Interconnected families
Growing in all directions, becoming something new
Or perhaps a reflection of dreams coming true

For society as we know it was at some point constructed
Grown institutions imposing ideals on how life should be conducted
By the hand of man, we built the life that we’ve always wanted
Creating our own world, despite its future being forgotten

Photographer: Joshua Earle

How to Change Your Life

A part of me is completely conflicted about desiring to write an inspirational post. This isn’t about the 3 Ways To Easily Lose Weight or The Secret Preventing Your Happiness. It’s about identifying the elements in personal growth.

Generally, these are long term changes. This entails a combination of:

  • time
  • discipline
  • consistency

With the nearly infinite amount of positivity blogs, inspiration hype, and self-help hoopla to go around, they nearly always revolve around these concepts.

Kind of like how all these lose-weight-fast ads come with an asterisk that say, “Regular exercise and proper diet for maximum results”. Well, if you worked out and ate healthy already, you probably wouldn’t need the quick-fix!
Ok sure, there are some problems where it’s necessary but I’m specifically talking about the “do it quick” type of things.

The funny thing is, this isn’t anything magical. We already know what to do! We just get lost in the games we play in our head. Turns out, some things are fairly simple. Getting a salad instead of fries is easy. All it takes is a simple sentence. Hitting the gym instead of being lazy  is easy. All it takes is a bit of effort.

The problem with reading all this inspiration-porn is that reading is incredibly fast. Just this sentence took you less than 10 seconds to read. On the other hand, committing to change your habits can take a month to kick in. That’s helluva lot more time than the 5 minutes to read this piece. So to truly benefit from this writing you must do more than play along idealizing your own self-growth. The entire point of this piece is to remind you those dreams don’t need to stay in your head. They don’t end after my last word. You carry your dreams forward.

To truly benefit from this piece of writing you must internalize and resonate with these ideas and follow through.

FOLLOW THROUGH.

Don’t just fantasize, actualize! Make it happen. Do it. Do it before your excuses make sense. Do it before your day ended. Do it before problems get so bad you hate yourself for not handling them earlier.

We all know you can do it — so why are you hesitating?

Grow Everyday


You don’t need more time
You just need to live it
Stop putting off your growth
As if this is your limit
You can do so much more
Just breathe and believe
That you can still rise up off the floor
I know you feel hurt, I know you feel torn
But that’s just what you get since the day you were born

This life is ultimately not of your deciding
But remember the power in your own hands to create
No, not in the future, but here on this day
Today we live in our own way, not afraid
No longer too scared to live it brave
Now stronger than yesterday
The dues that we just have paid
Give us what we have today

So help me make a better tomorrow
Where instead of choosing a life fueled off of our sorrow
Let’s choose one of love
No longer letting pain remain the status-quo
Hand in hand, let’s truly grow
Let’s come to know
That we exist together in this shared show
Each playing our own part, our own role

Photographer: Jamie King