life

Dreams in the Mirror: Part 4

I feel like I have so much to say
Constantly filling page after page
Realize this life is about quality, not just age
Cause everybody’s struggling
We’re all in pain
And I wish to refrain from my self-destructive tendencies
And instead construct a soul that when it sees
Another in need of assistance
I can stand by and aid the resistance
Against falling into depravity
Love draining hatred — it works like a gravity
Pulling us away
By covering this day
With a looming shade of gray
Making us too afraid
To see even our own reflection
Internal conflict restricting external affection
Well FUCK that, this is my message:

This life is an unknown blessing
Given oxygen with an unwritten destiny
And a nearly blank canvas from our families’ genetic history
But in this moment, you are you, and I am me
So let’s dance and let’s sing
Let’s stand up tall and instead of falling
To our darkness, let’s find that bliss
As if life itself is a single kiss to the universe
This is my verse with just a single purpose

To tell my future self that I love him and hope he grows more
That above all his failures he can still rise up off the floor

Next: Part 5 – 8/3/2014

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Dreams in the Mirror: Part 3

See this is the train time rhyme
Taking this subway trip to cloud nine
A passion to find and explore
That life’s not just a grind when you’re looking for more
See what I’m looking for
Is to answer these questions I can’t ignore
No longer concerned about the score
But a focus on the game
Of living life to the fullest
And attempting to live it sane
See what I’m looking for is that frame of mind
That perspective and mentality to let my soul shine
In this universe of people
So that I can find a way to inspire
A motivation to reach higher
Cause we all know life’s on a timer
Counting down from that unknown number
Telling how much time we got till our final slumber
And it fills me with this hunger
This unimaginable desire
To give this life another trial
where giving up is no longer part of my vocabulary
My inner thoughts become a personal form of a sanctuary
So that when the day is done and they put my name in the obituary
This message will live on
That love is all we need

Love for the self
Love for the other
Love for the child
Love for the mother

Next: Part 4 – 8/1/2014

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Dreams in the Mirror: Part 2

Take this inner conflict
See it as a sign that you shouldn’t miss
For in life there is only time with emptiness
It’s in your hands now to create this bliss
Your soul is frustrated
To grow, it cries out

Finite creatures living in an infinite world
Contingent possibilities make knowing the future absurd
But we can make our choices today
We can be the hands that mold this clay
This malleable sense of personal identity
Discover the truth in what it means to be free
Embrace the peak of humanity’s decree
To let me be me
Become the person that I want to be

I’m not where I am by working alone
Only with the help of the other has my life flown
In the direction that I want it to
Look in the mirror and choose you
This is your cue
To break through your inner feud
Using your pain as your strongest fuel
To propel you forward
Even when you’re not sure
That you can face your inner monster
Cause if you sit and let it stir
It’ll grow faster and faster
And the second you slip up
Mistakes resurface into personal disaster

Yet the struggle is shared more than you know
In everybody’s hearts exist the capacity to grow
But pain becomes the norm and then becomes dulled
Before you know it your dreams are in the past
And you’ve grown too old
So NOW is the time to live and be bold
Become the fire that pushes back the cold

Next: Part 3 – 7/30/2014

 

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Dreams in the Mirror is a 10 part series. It began as a short bit I wrote while venting about self-directed frustrations. During my recent Spring semester, I had gotten lazy with my studies and personal projects. Feeling extremely dissatisfied, I processed my feelings through writing what is now Part 1. Several months later, after the semester had ended, I now find myself commuting to my dream job. During my work-bound train-rides I have downtime to think and to write. I came across Part 1 and began writing responses. The subsequent 9 parts are all focused on answering the frustrations of my past and building hope for the future. This piece has been fundamental in my recent mindset toward life and I’m very happy that I have the ability to share it with the world.

Dreams in the Mirror: Part 1 – 7/26/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 2 – 7/28/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 3 – 7/30/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 4 – 8/1/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 5 – 8/3/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 6 – 8/5/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 7 – 8/7/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 8 – 8/9/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 9 – 8/11/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 10 – 8/13/2014

Dreams in the Mirror: Part 1

To see the path
But walk a way
I’ve done the math
And I’ve got to say
That something’s just not adding up
In these choices that I’ve made
You can see it in the numbers
It’s as clear as clearest day
That a disconnect
Has brought me back
Try to track
The source of this flack
It seems to be a lack of motivation
Infinite inspiration seems to decay with deflation
While trying to ration this passion
Try to make it ever lasting
Cause over and over I hit the breaks
When at the start I said I’d do whatever it takes
My words become valueless
My reflection I try to miss
What’s the source of this?
This enemy of my happiness

If only it were easy to act the better thought
But often I find myself thinking about what I ought
To have done better
Go back and do it right
But that just can’t happen
As the past ain’t so open
Cause this is the present
In the here and the now
If I know what the truth is resting in my heart
Then what the fuck is stopping me from finishing what I start?

Next: Part 2 – 7/28/2014

 

—

Dreams in the Mirror is a 10 part series. It began as a short bit I wrote while venting about self-directed frustrations. During my recent Spring semester, I had gotten lazy with my studies and personal projects. Feeling extremely dissatisfied, I processed my feelings through writing what is now Part 1. Several months later, after the semester had ended, I now find myself commuting to my dream job. During my work-bound train-rides I have downtime to think and to write. I came across Part 1 and began writing responses. The subsequent 9 parts are all focused on answering the frustrations of my past and building hope for the future. This piece has been fundamental in my recent mindset toward life and I’m very happy that I have the ability to share it with the world.

Dreams in the Mirror: Part 1 – 7/26/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 2 – 7/28/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 3 – 7/30/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 4 – 8/1/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 5 – 8/3/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 6 – 8/5/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 7 – 8/7/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 8 – 8/9/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 9 – 8/11/2014
Dreams in the Mirror: Part 10 – 8/13/2014

Fractions of an Instant

Walking to the park
As if it’s a part of me
A living thing
A thing I need
Like a breath of oxygen
Just here for this moment
But once more gone again
A silence eager for action when
Life and death are included in the fractions
Of every passing moment
A series of choices make up how we spend it
And we can waste it
Letting hearts grow cold
Night after night
Regretting growing old
With nothing to show
For time given
Yet only thrown
Into mindless distractions
Choosing avoidance
Through ignoring personal dissatisfactions
Unaware that life is just one internal conversation
Between the future past and present
All represent the current equation
Of a mindset in this moment
Temporarily existant
Embracing the truth
That everything only lasts for an instant

—

Note: As of 7/24/2014, I will be posting every other day at 8:00 AM EST. Stay tuned 🙂

—

Image Attribution (Creative Commons): Waiting time – Philip Edmondson

Cross the Line

 

Where is the line
between dreams and free will?
At what point
is a mountain just a big hill?
Just a fountain filled
with obstacles to be dealt with
One at a time
absence of stress
with an ever-present mind
Not afraid to fall behind
so long as the direction is still forward
There are no misconceptions when you’re always moving toward
A brighter future
A better day
Pushing the boundaries
To wherever that line lay
If it may move out of your way
It becomes clear as day
That line rests
wherever you say
Yet still constrained
By the reality of life’s pains
Lost and broken
Only left with the remains
Of shattered hopes and withered dreams
It still seems absurd to try and believe
That walls can be conquered, goals can be achieved
Yet despite all the suffering, there are those still in need
Of a hero unwilling to give up
With few words but still saying so much
Always inspiring while maintaining trust
A catalyst that shakes off the rust
Of long forgotten hearts
stranded in the dust

—

Image Attribution (Creative Commons): Lines – Georgie Pauwels

Signal Fire

How do we break these chains of violence
And silence humanity’s bloodthirsty quest
To silence against those with a different opinion
Voicing their thoughts just cause they believe them
Once you blur the lines of race and religion
You see how we always share the same seasons
You realize on the inside that we’re all human

But it’s not that easy because it’s nearly impossible for us to collectively agree
And no one person knows what’s best for all society
Minorities and majorities
Make it hard to piece together
The best way to make it better

Either way the story goes
It doesn’t have to end in woes

I don’t know what the world really needs
But that doesn’t mean I cant plant these seeds
Of these newly old forms of philosophies
Founded in love, with a hope to increase
The optimistic exploration
Of next year’s generation
Cause it really doesn’t need an explanation

That we’re all sharing the same light
The one that burns internally bright
The kind that grants haven in the darkest of nights
Look at this rhyme as signal fire
Though the energy is within
The smoke keeps on climbing higher
Enough for you to have to look up
And see into the distance
That you’re not the only one
With broken dreams and lost wishes
Cause we’re all looking at similar pieces
Of a preexistent puzzle
Lacking a cover on the box
We can use our minds and our muscles
To uncover meaning together
And see which truths we unlock

Ambiguities

Handrail Reflection
What’s a reflection
When perspectives are bending
Light and reality
Hiding what we see
And turns it into what we believe
This is what it means
For dreams to breathe
In time and space
Ideas and thoughts
Are given a face
But whose face is it really
When a mind’s always reeling
Afraid of losing
Pre-felt feelings
Stuck in the past
With a moment
Never meant to last
Just trying to grasp
The idea
That we are free
Only when aware
Of the ability to breathe
Able to help
Souls in need
Creating new foundations
And constructing philosophies
While building internal crutches
To answer life’s ambiguities

Boarding Pass

On a plane ride
going sky high,
traveling to Chicago
joined by others
with the power to fly
Through time and space
displacing
struggles with rhymes
embracing my issues
while I choose to turn
internal conflict
into public news,
Sharing how I make it through
when moments seem unbearable
I wonder how to care any more,
Wondering what the boarding pass
to life would be
when time’s often spent
boringly,
instead of seeing
this life as a journey
every breath of oxygen
rewarding,
finding infinite peace
between the bars
of songs praised for
emotionally following along,
as if my words
have already been said
understood and turned into music
before this moments laid to rest,
Lest we forget
every soul we haven’t met,
To know living life to the fullest
is not only the ultimate bet,
but the boarding pass
to gain a past
we’d never wish to regret.

Shifting Perspectives

With this propensity
Proclivity to write constantly
When I put things in a rhyme
they just make more sense to me
So I’m constantly repeating
what I’m trying to make myself believe in
Tired of crying needlessly
when it’s the perspective
that needs shifting
Not just sifting through
the pieces of the puzzle but
Altogether viewing it differently
cause nothing’s really meant to be
Coincidence mistaken for fate frequently
This universe can’t be plotted
Until you see this you wont be free
Still free to disagree
with this philosophy
regardless of the cognitive ease you
experience when every sentence
feels a part of some flow
as if I meant this
wording arrangement
to show you that greatness
Is simply meaning created
of dreamt up words
strung into a smoothly consumed statement