Author: tonotmissthebliss

tonotmissthebliss https://tonotmissthebliss.wordpress.com A writer and a coder.
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Lift Yourself Up

What if I tore these walls down
Smiles of plenty masking hidden frowns
Sadness growing and loneliness creeping up on me
As it just seems hard to keep up
With each act, each charade
Walking as if my life’s a parade
While breaking on the inside
What if I could confide in you
My deepest insecurities
The strongest uncertainties

What would happen
If I didn’t act so tough
If I broke down when life got rough
Tears of plenty, afraid of finding love

As I can now see there exists a part of me
That doesn’t wish to succeed
That doesn’t appreciate being freed
That welcomes self torment as the seeds
To stirring a growing darkness
The lonely bliss
Of being torn between wishing to care
And instead choosing none of this

It’s time to accept this part of my soul
But still it’s only one aspect of a total whole
For my internal conversation consists of more than one role
More than one voice at play
Able to make the choice today
Deciding love through a writer’s way
Crafting the words that I need to say

Gearing my consciousness in the right direction
Leading my path down the road of affection
Continuous lessons, spontaneous blessings
Able to be proudly confessing
A weakened state of mind with the pressing desire
To light an inner fire
As I aspire to lift myself higher

 

Detangled

So blessed
Miraculously grown with love as my crest of arms
Protected from life’s harms
By a core sense of love
Through the pain and hate
I still feel as if there’s a reason beyond our fate
That before you look to the future
Remember this moment is the opportunity
To continue to be
A conduit of love
Sharing good vibes while rising above
The herd mentality of hating
The banality of blaming
External variables for internal perspectives
Remembering the lessons
That life can be viewed from more than one angle
So decide which is best before getting all tangled

Mysterious Witnesses

Jumping off the hype train
Tired of feeling the same pain
Disdain
Self hate
Self doubt
Clouds and clouds
Blocking my sunny day
My sunny way

Evidently self-created from the start
I laugh and say “Hah, I’m just too lazy”
But that laugh is only partially serious
Not alluding to the hidden sense
THAT THINGS ARE FUCKED UP
And I need a bit of change

Ignoring the clearly found answers
To live life by dancing for something worth standing for
Feel it in your beating heart
Here exists your soul
As some kind of unknown part of infinite personified stories
The Universe’s blip of somehow knowing
That it exists in ways it can not even comprehend

For on scientific frontiers of all Humanity
We’re just trying to figure out
The next point of sanity
Yet never reaching unanimity
In fully understanding
These remaining true hypotheses
Wondrous anomalies of inexplicable existences
Among continuous persistences
Observed by Us, the mysterious witnesses
As The line between what is Known
And that which is not
Continues its blurry
And ever dynamic plot

#Friendship


I couldn’t even come close to this moment
Without people beholden
To helping out
No end game in mind
No con, no gimmick
Just a friend who gave his or her
Advice, help and most importantly friendship
Keeping me in their minds as well as their hearts
So when they saw an opportunity and thought of me
Inevitably they let me know
Gave me a chance to grow
That I never would have had otherwise
This is true bliss actualized

Knowing I got a friend who’s got my back
So I can get back to living life
Not like an attack on the impossible
But rather embracing Love of what’s already on the table
Using this energy to fuel a sense of growth
Not worried about numbers or measurements
As there’s no standardized way to test this
Habitual sense of greatness comes one step at time
One line of a rhyme
Connecting two distant minds
Through choosing to shine
Letting music unwind tense shoulders and stressed spines
As we’re all just trying to find
A little relief from a Universe that mystifies the mind

Yet at the same time
Here we are in this together
Sharing experiences just like the weather
With each passing moment
A chance to make it better

—
Photographer: Brett Davies

 

Nitrogen Wishes

What if I told you I don’t always feel like an optimist
That beyond the fog and growing mist
A doubt still holds on to any sense of stable understanding
Briefest sanity shakes on loosest standing

This must be the consequence of identifying
Our plot-line of stories intertwined
As part of Humanity of a total whole
A conflicted history of which the victors wrote
An ever-changing tale of Yes and of No
Cognizant of choices resonating with my soul
My flow
Amazingly aware in what it means to grow
That if you put effort into your life
You could reap what you’ve always sown

But this lack of guarantee doesn’t give me the thrill
That a roll of dice for a dollar surely will
Instead, an uncertainty grows, impossible to kill
Doubt overwhelming when contemplating my free will
For the answers remain elusive
No one knows the truth underneath
And yet I attempt to preach with such capacity
Such audacity to take this electronic megaphone to the world
And write as if I’ve got it all figured out
That when all is said and done, I’ve conquered all my doubts

I’m here to say that’s farthest from the truth
This battle between confidence and uncertainty
Lingers long beyond my youth
Let me announce that I have no answers
I merely seek to craft thoughts into rhymes
As recently it’s been the best way to calm my mind
So many questions and answers to find
Yet none available, we remain oh! so blind
To what is truly underneath
The atoms of bed sheets
The air of which we breathe

Science and philosophy still falling short
In the realm of understanding totality of existence
With polarity in persistence
Of patterns and opposites
Lightness and darknesses
Suffering alongside this one bliss
Every breath of air the chance for a new wish
A fresh sense of courage for the story still unfinished
Comprised of the hero with a heart not diminished
But rather, still focused on making growth his one mission

—
Photographer: Lee Scott

You Are Free*

Stop
Is the red light
To stop your motion — you’re no longer free
Rules to protect all of the you’s and me’s
See there’s a balance between
True freedom and being free
Because dangerous choices come at a cost
They lead to much suffering
And lives being lost
So what does it mean
To truly live free
Free by my own sense
Or in my country
See there’s a difference
When laws are immoral
And when they are just
Yet we rely on our government
With bipolar trust
And we’re told, “Oh it’s because you must!”
See there’s a certain hypocrisy
In our ingrained philosophy
Of living in a world where man is truly free
Amongst an ocean of asterisks, rules and laws
For the result of each effect begins with a cause

—

Photographer: Karoly Lorente

Don’t Black Out

blackbox

I’d rather wallow in despair
Than not be aware
Blacked out with actions lacking of care
With no way to know what type of control
My drunken state of consciousness will choose to show
As I can not fathom what it means to not remember
Blacked out with actions
Unaware of the embers
Potential fires I could have lit
Words consequential which easily could have hit
The life I’m trying to build
The one of figuring out my own free will
But when I’m drunk to the point of amnesia
I have the potential to accidentally kill

The Next Snowflake

Every poem feels as if I’m saying the same thing
Though if by magic they each have their own ring
Like the multitude of designs in every single snowflake
Each new rhyme is an opportunity to create
A chance to fall into Love and away from my hate
As self-pity inducing mistakes keep piling up
But when I’m rhyming, I’m filling my cup
With them good vibes
No need for lies
When the truth begins to reveal itself
A life of heaven and a life of hell
Start to make a little more sense
Remembering about the present tense
As the past and future only exist imaginarily
Now is the moment to grasp my identity
Now is the moment to grow and become me
Even if in the end, its only momentarily

—

Photographer: Alexey Kljatov

Let Love Flow Through You

Now is the time
To rise above
Look in deep
Feel the love
Growing — pulsing
Telling you that now is the time to sing
Time to bring Humanity together
Storms around the corner
That we must be prepared to weather
Not to let up and break the chain of inspiration
Holding on tight to this sweetest elation
Luckiest sensation
For this moment is fleeting
But right here, right now
We can love and live outloud
You and I meeting for this single second of infinite time
Yet somehow, someway, we are alive
Able to shine like the stars that guide us
Love both near and far and always so wondrous
This is the meaning of my deepest bliss
Becoming aware of the Love before it is truly missed

Now Is The Chance to Become Yourself

It’s time to start reading the words that you’ve been writing
Though your body’s been delayed, your heart’s still been fighting
Never stopped guiding you to believe the words you keep on saying
Grow, create, and don’t ever stop playing
You’re too young to let lack of energy be a valid excuse
Drop your sadness and your worries
Compared to the rest of the world
You truly have nothing to lose

Don’t be afraid to finish a task
You can move forward
You don’t need to ask for permission to grow
Trust this, you’ve already come to know
This feeling resonating inside your mind
Let go of the uneasy thoughts of leaving behind
The past versions of your existence
Stop reeling in the face of change
Embrace it as your chance to become stronger than you used to be
Not just letting time pass amusingly
But converting the blessing of being free
Into choices that lead you towards becoming me